The Bourbon Bandit
by lawsomeantics38
Summary: A one shot filled with fluff and smut based on the following prompt from a friend: Someone is stealing Bones' bourbon, so he decides to set a trap to find them.


Leonard McCoy took a deep breath as he sat down at his desk and opened the bottom left-hand drawer. From it, he extracted a bottle filled with brown liquid. It had been a real day in med bay and the doctor was looking forward to a nip of his favorite drink to take the edge off the day's events. But when he set the bottle on the desk, he frowned.

"Goddammit," he muttered, eyeing the level of bourbon in the bottle.

This wasn't the first time he'd noticed that there was significantly less bourbon in the bottle than the last time he'd had a drink. It was time to admit it – someone was stealing his booze. Leonard wouldn't mind so much if it weren't for the fact that this was good stuff – not that replicated crap they tried to pass off as bourbon in the ship's bar. Oh no. Leonard had paid a lot of credits, not to mention broke a few Starfleet regulations, in order to bring this bottle aboard and the fact that someone else was getting into his stash – well, it couldn't stand. He was going to have to take action. He pondered a list of suspects as he poured a finger of the dark drink into a glass.

Plenty of people had access to his office. Most of the nurses, all of the doctors, Jim…Spock…but the hobgoblin didn't drink so McCoy was pretty sure he could cross the Vulcan off the list. Everyone else, though? Fair game. And whoever was siphoning off his precious elixir, well, he was gonna make them pay. McCoy began thinking of just how he was going to catch his thief. A slow smile spread across his face. He knew exactly how to repay the bourbon burglar. He got out of his chair and headed to the lab, bottle in tow. He'd have to sacrifice the remaining bourbon to his plot but it would be worth it in the end. And the Enterprise was due for shore leave next week so he'd replenish the supply then.

In the lab, Leonard mixed together a concoction and, with a rueful grin, poured the odorless mixture into the bourbon.

"Let's see how you like pilfering my booze now," he said to no one, thinking about how satisfying it would be to catch the offending party. Back in his office, he placed the bottle in its drawer, noting exactly how much liquid was left. Sure, he'd know if someone got into it but might as well be certain as to the level now.

* * *

Christine Chapel looked around med bay. Doctor McCoy had finished his shift and she was pretty sure she'd seen him leave for the night. To be sure, she checked with one of the other nurses, who confirmed that she'd seen the doctor step out of med bay, probably for the evening. It wasn't unusual for Leonard to sneak off rather than say formal goodbyes, especially after such a rough day. They'd almost lost a patient on the table twice and Christine could feel a kink forming in her back. Not to mention how shaky her legs felt. She sighed. What she really needed was a quick pick-me-up. And if Doctor McCoy was gone for the night…

She felt guilty, purloining the good doctor's bourbon. But sometimes, a woman needed a drink and this was one of those times. Her shift had been over three hours ago but she was still here, cleaning and replenishing supplies. Now that she'd finished all her tasks, she could indulge. She typed in the code for the office doors and slid in quickly. It was best that no one notice her. While nurses had access to the office, and as head nurse, she had myriad reasons for being in there, she was still wary of being caught.

Leonard heard someone pressing the code in for the office and quickly hid himself in the closet behind his desk, the door just barely ajar. It occurred to him too late that perhaps this was just a nurse coming in for more supplies, in which case, how was he gonna explain hiding in the supply closet to whomever opened the door? But for some reason, he felt confident that he was about to catch his spirits snatcher instead. So he kept quiet as the doors to the office wooshed open then closed. He couldn't see who had entered. They moved quietly – stealthily – he thought grimly. Oh, was this poor sucker in for a treat.

Christine moved across the office to Doctor McCoy's desk. His view was still obstructed by the door but he saw a flash of blue. So it was someone in medical. A shame – he'd kinda been hoping it was Jim. Oh well. He watched as a hand pulled on the bottom drawer where he'd just placed the bottle minutes before. The hand, and arm attached to it, were female. Good God, the nurses were the ones stealing? He was going to have to address this at the next medical staff meeting. At the same time, McCoy couldn't help but be impressed. A woman who appreciated good bourbon was a woman he wanted to get to know. And as that thought passed his mind, more of the miscreant came into his view. He almost gasped.

Christine?

Nurse Chapel was the one drinking his hard-earned bourbon?

She poured a finger into the same glass he'd just used.

McCoy had to stop this – he couldn't let her drink the tainted alcohol!

"Chapel, stop!" he cried as he barreled out of the closet behind her.

Christine yelped and nearly dropped the glass she'd brought to her lips.

"Doctor McCoy!" she exclaimed as her face grew red. He'd caught her red-handed. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" he growled. "It's my goddamn office. What are YOU doing here?"

Christine hung her head, ashamed of being caught so flagrantly violating her boss's property.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I don't do this very often…it was just a really bad day…"

The look on McCoy's face softened and he took the glass from his head nurse's hand, setting it on the table.

"Trust me," he told her as he stared into her blue eyes, "You don't want to drink that."

She looked from the glass to him in confusion and then a slow understanding spread across her face.

"What did you do?" she finally asked him.

"I knew someone was stealing my bourbon so I mixed some pretty potent laxatives in there. Didn't realize you were the one helping yourself to my stash. I'd prefer to avoid having you spend the rest of the night in the bathroom, darlin'." He gave her a wry smile.

She opened her mouth to say something then closed it. He watched as several emotions flitted across her face.

"I…suppose I would deserve it," she finally said thoughtfully. "I was stealing your bourbon."

Leonard couldn't take his eyes off the blonde beauty standing so close, he could smell her gardenia perfume. Even back at the Academy, he'd thought Christine Chapel was beautiful. Beautiful and unobtainable. She'd been engaged back then and once the engagement had been broken, she'd been his head nurse and McCoy wasn't fond of dipping his pen in the company ink, so to speak. So rather than make a move on her, he'd pined for her in secret. And even though they'd been alone together countless times in this very office, there was a charge in the air that he hadn't felt before. He wondered if she felt it too?

Christine looked into the hazel eyes boring down on her. She'd always suspected Doctor McCoy might have a thing for her…or maybe it was more that she'd always hoped the attraction was mutual. Back when Roger had been in the picture, it had been easier to ignore the handsome man in front of her. But when things with Roger went to shit, Doctor McCoy had been there to comfort her. And he'd truly been wonderful about the whole thing. He never spoke unkindly of her ex but let her say what she needed to say when she'd sought him out to vent. That's how she found out about the secret supply of bourbon in the first place – because Leonard had insisted she sit down after a grueling shift, had put a glass in her hand, and told her to drink – slowly. The first time, she hadn't cared for the brown liquor. It burned her throat and left a bad taste in her mouth. But as she had sat there, spilling both her heart and her tears all over Doctor McCoy's desk, she'd discovered there was something soothing about the harshness of the alcohol. She'd left his office smiling for the first time since Roger ended their engagement. And now, she was standing so close to McCoy, she could feel his breath as he exhaled. So close…

"Doctor, if you're not going to let me drink the altered bourbon, how exactly are you going to punish me?" she asked in a low tone.

McCoy couldn't help but bite back a curse. She knew exactly what she was doing and for the first time, he had confirmation that Christine Chapel would welcome his advances just as surely as she'd helped herself to his bourbon.

"Careful, Chris," he replied as he stepped just a bit closer to her. "You're playing a dangerous game."

"A game we should have started playing months ago," she replied as she moved towards him, her chest pressed against his.

McCoy wasn't a superhero. He was just a man – a man with a gorgeous woman pressed against him, begging him with her eyes to have his way with her.

"My God, Christine," he murmured as he dipped his head down to hers. "Do you realize what you're doing?"

Their lips met and they both felt a rush of adrenaline. They kissed hungrily and McCoy was pleasantly surprised to feel the intensity of her want for him. All this time, he'd tried so hard to hide his feelings for her and it had never occurred to him that she looked for reasons to spend more time with him. All those times when she'd touched his arm inadvertently – maybe there had been nothing inadvertent about it at all. As if reading his mind, she pulled away.

"I know exactly what I'm doing and I wish I'd had the courage to do this sooner," she said to him with a smile that lit a fire in his stomach. He felt a twitch below the belt and made a quick decision.

"Computer, lock the office doors with no override," McCoy growled.

Christine's smile deepened and he picked her up, setting her down on the edge of his desk.

"You sure about this?" he asked her as he gently pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Never been more certain," she replied, her hands on his chest, as she savored the feel of his muscles tightening under her touch.

That was all he needed to hear. His mouth was on hers again, his tongue insistent against her own. She wrapped her legs around him drawing as close as she could. Her hands were on his back, in his hair, pulling at his medical blues. She wanted him, right then, as much as he wanted her. She stopped for a moment to make eye contact with him, a shy smile on her face.

God, she was everything he'd dreamed and then some. The way she moved against him, the mix of aggressiveness and timidity – if he hadn't been in love with her before this, he was pretty sure she'd own his heart after this.

"I've wanted this for so long," she told him, her voice breathy as she pressed her lips against his throat.

"God, Chris," he murmured into her hair. "I've wanted this since we were cadets…"

"Me too," she gasped as he nipped at her earlobe. His hands cupped her breasts through her uniform and their mouths found one another again.

It had been a long time since McCoy had allowed himself anything other than a meaningless one-night stand and he hadn't had one of those in….hell, months. He could feel the pressure mounting within him.

"Chapel, this first time… I'll make it up… to you… later… I promise," he murmured between kisses as he hiked her skirt up and tugged on her panties.

She pulled away and gave him a bemused smile. "What are you going on about now, Doctor?" she asked him as she held his face in her hands.

"I'm tryin' to warn ya – I'm not gonna last very long and I'm sure as shit not gonna be very gentle with ya," he snarled as he pulled her panties down, ripping them in his eagerness to be inside her, to feel her around him.

She laughed, her hands on his pants, making quick work of the barriers his clothes presented.

"I'll let it slide as long as you promise me there will be plenty of other times to come," she whispered in his ear, her hand stroking his engorged shaft.

"Goddammit," he gasped, a smirk on his face from the dirty pun she'd made. "I'd promise you anything right now."

He grabbed her, shifting her body, then lifting it slightly so he could enter her. She guided him in, her breath steady against him.

"Yes," she murmured. "Yes, that's it."

Once inside her, he set Christine back down on the desk and braced his arms on either side of her. He thrust slowly at first but she was so wet and warm – so ready for him and it didn't take long for his speed to increase. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling closer to him, allowing him to push more deeply into her.

"God, you feel so good," he whispered raggedly.

"You have no idea," she replied, equally breathless.

Wanting more, wanting to be as close to her as he could be, McCoy pulled her close to him and then softly laid her down on the desk, climbing on top of her. He thanked whatever acoustic engineer it was who had ensured the office was soundproof because neither of them was the least bit quiet as he fucked her hard and fast on the top of his desk. She writhed beneath him, begging for more, deeper, harder, yes Len, yes, please, don't stop, oh god, I'm going to come…

Her orgasm triggered his and Leonard McCoy had never been more proud of himself for making sure the woman came before him because he'd never had a harder time not taking his own pleasure first than there, on that desk, with the wonder that was Christine Chapel beneath him.

* * *

Later, curled up together on the couch in his office, their clothes scattered across the office floor, Leonard and Christine talked softly, their hands on one another, soft kisses and laughter frequently interrupting the conversation.

"You know," she said to him after a particularly thorough kiss, "It's not just me taking your bourbon."

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Oh?"

"Well, yes. M'Benga comes in sometimes to grab a drink, and Nurse Cahill, Doctor Arax…even the captain."

"Dammit, I shoulda known," McCoy grumbled, no longer upset over the missing booze. Hell, he'd swear off bourbon forever if this were his reward. Luckily, he was pretty sure he could enjoy his head nurse and his favorite drink at the same time. But he was gonna have to find a new hiding place.

Chapel giggled and he looked down at her.

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm just thinking of how funny it would be to see Jim react to your bourbon mixture."

They laughed together at the idea of Jim running abruptly to the bathroom.

"Ruined a perfectly good batch of bourbon just to find out the whole ship is stealing from me," McCoy grumbled, no real bite behind his words.

"Such a shame," Chapel replied. "Hopefully I can make it up to you." She snuggled in close and he felt his arousal grow.

"I'm sure we can think of something," he whispered in her ear before trailing kisses down to her plump lips.

"Oh yes," she gasped between kisses. "Something…"

Words stopped being necessary and no one noticed that the office doors stayed locked all night long. Well, no one besides the three nurses and two doctors who tried to get in the office for a nip of bourbon after their shifts. When the office was finally opened again, everyone was disappointed to find the bourbon gone. They never did find its new hiding place but they did notice that Doctor McCoy seemed a lot happier. No one was sure why, except for his head nurse, who increasingly found herself warming his bed instead of her own at night.


End file.
